My House Is A Museum

Castles

If you’ve been following along, I suppose you’ve noticed a theme going on here. A theme song, in fact. I’m sure you know the words. All the best weirdos do. An appreciation for re-runs of this odd ball 60s sitcom, and the various alternate versions featuring those strange people from the pen of cartoonist Charles Addams is something that runs somewhat commonly through witchy people of my acquaintance. To my mind is a part of the modern “witch aesthetic” that we hear bandied about online. But I’m sure there are some who are oh-so-serious as to debate that assessment.

I’ve written at length about the Addams family before, and am trying not to repeat myself overmuch in this series of articles. Yet the world is cyclic, and ideas come back around. Just like Halloween. That’s actually somewhat comfortable, and really somewhat necessary.

If we as a species could get everything right the first time through, we’d have all attained NIrvana and moved on to whatever challenges await us at that next plateau which is probably not the final state either. Or as surely as the oscillation model of the universe, we are disturbed and distributed out of that state to try and learn again.

Point being, things do repeat, they give us the opportunity to relearn, to renew, to grow and expand, and to re-experience, both good and bad. Re-experience and remembering is an important human activity, because we gear a lot of our lives toward it. We have our favorite foods, our favorite books, our favorite movies and TV shows, and all the assorted knick-knacks that go with them, so that we can treasure them repeatedly. It gives us a fixed point in an ever-evolving cosmos that can be awfully awfully big and awfully awfully indifferent and cruel.

So, yes, my house is a museum of my own life experiences, the things I have liked enough to collect over the years, and the things that I want to keep around me that probably have zero practical purpose.


Swords
Someday we’ll have a house where we can duel in the library again. Proper swordplay really requires vaulted ceilings. Yes, of course we could use the yard, but that seems awfully bourgeois.

Like a set of china my great grandmother acquired with S&H Green Stamps back in 40s. For those who have no idea what I am talking about, savings stamps were the precursor to airline miles or credit card cash back. They were typically given out by service stations (what you’d call a gas station now) as a premium when people made a fuel purchase. If you saved enough of them, by pasting them into a booklet they’d give you, then you could purchase items from a catalog provided by the stamp company. In this way, consumers could acquire things for which their ordinary cash flow was insufficient, without needing to qualify for a credit card or payment program, which in the elder days were much harder to get.

The practice of thrift – as it was known – was more fundamental to the middle and working classes in American society until around the 1980s. Saving more than spending was the way of things, because ultimately you’d need to get something that cost a lot, and financing was not something easily accessible to those who really needed it more than the Vanderbilts and Pierpoint Morgans.

It wasn’t just cash, of course, it was all the stuff. In my grandmother’s house were at least five complete bedroom sets, multiple tables, chests, cabinets, sideboards, buffets, sets of dishes, pots, pans, pickling crocks, butter churns, cake stands, and untold numbers of mason jars. Huge steamer trunks, ironically owned by people who had never seen an ocean until late in life, held quilts, blankets, and bedspreads, extra pillows and linens, and a variety of old clothes. There were baby cribs and high chairs. There were old toys and a few books, and a dark floorless attic where one might find the discarded wonders of a bygone age (or a Ouija board everyone swears was never in the house).

These were not collected as ostentation, or any sign of wealth or prestige. They had nothing to do with desire, nor were they a sign of a hoarding malediction. These things had accumulated into this house (and a thousand others like it across mid-century rural America) because they had been saved for the future. Because someday, somebody might need them. There would be children. There would be weddings and new households and grandchildren, and those people would need these things because they would not have them. They’d need them until they got enough S&H Green Stamps of their own to get things, and then they’d pass them on to their children and their grandchildren.

By the time we reached the 1970s, though, it became much easier for an emerging rural middle class to acquire new things. That set of old china became a revered heirloom rather than a practical useful item. It was only used on special occasions when all the family was back together for the holidays. And of course it was never used at the kid’s table, because heaven forbid we might chip one of these quasi-antique plates that, since Granny was no longer with us, had taken on a sacred nature.

So by the time my grandmother passed away, and her children were tasked with parsing out the collections of several human lifetimes, the china came to me, where it sits, sadly, in the top of a cabinet, unused, for fear that it’s age means it contained toxic lead in the glaze. In all likelihood, food will never touch it again.

Meanwhile, my generation has replaced our more disposable mid-century hand-me-downs several times, passed on to our own adult children mismatched sets of melamine and discount store china that survived from our earlier days, and are now faced with the daunting task of a looming inheritance of such things as soup tureens and sideboards that no longer serve our lifestyles or really that of anyone living below the millionaire line.

When my wife and I were younger, we entertained with the finest of plasticware and paper plates. Our peers, there for chips and dips and beer and wine, were content with that, since they did that at their own homes. “Charcuterie” often came on their own plastic presentation trays from the grocery, and being the thrifty sort, we washed those and reused them.

When children came along the inherent need for durability and practicality relegated the china and crystal to the domain of locked display cabinets, and very rare use from time to time. As the children got older more practical but “nicer” pieces were acquired, that suit personal tastes and sensibilities, and are easier and less expensive to replace should a guest have a bit too much wine and tip the glass over.

Now the children have moved out to an apartment, and considerably less space for such things, and their careers and lifestyle choices mean that they may always live in an apartment or condo with limited space and need for soup tureens and sideboards and quasi-antique possibly toxic china that will never be used. Their own personal museums reflect their tastes and time, and so these “old things” no longer live as part of the family, as they really should, and have become part of a memory that we can’t easily let go of.

So while this article may serve to educate the docent who will eventually conduct a tour of my unused kitchen for posterity, it probably seems very far afield from ideas esoteric and occult. I’m coming to that.

Samhain in the Celtic tradition is the end of the year fire festival which closes out the living growing world of the Summer and prepares us all for the coming of the Winter Dark, with its unwelcome reminders of death and privation. It was against such death and privation that my ancestors, and possibly your own accumulated these “useless things” from one generation to the next. They were never really meant to become relics, but they almost always do. They end up being the things of the dead people that we keep around so that we remember those dead people.

I have mentioned in earlier articles and discussions with people online, that I don’t actively practice “veneration of the ancestors”. But I still keep Granny’s gas-station stamp china around. The history of these basically worthless objects, as I have shared it with you here, reminds me of the person that she was, the life that she lived, and the community of others who shared that culture, going back to when they came across the ocean from the poverty of Wales, and Scotland, and Ireland, many with just the clothes on their backs.


Paintings
Like most museums there are more pieces in our collection than can be properly displayed at any one time. This is especially true because the proper placement, care, and conservation of art pieces is not really the purpose of the average suburban home. One must carefully consider things like exposure to light, humidity, air currents, and other key factors in order to make sure you are not unduly harming something, even if it is not a rare piece by a famous artist.

This doesn’t even begin to take into account the problems in storing and displaying cursed objects, enchanted amulets, and other such items that museums have to contend with. So far most of the dead things in my collection seem content to remain silent, or at least, to only prank when they are lacking attention.

The day after the Celtic Samhain is celebrated as Dios de Los Muertos by the Latin American culture. The Day of the Dead is an overt veneration of the ancestors and festooned with feasting and music and bright colors and sugar skulls. We get more of it here in Texas than perhaps people do in the center of the country, though the Latin population has been expanding from the border for years. I think about the people pressed at that border now, with only the clothes on their backs, seeking some future they can only imagine. I think of the children and grandchildren that someday may look back to them on the Day of the Dead, and point to a plate or a bowl up on the top shelf of a locked cupboard and tell their stories, and remind themselves of the people that they were.

It is important to participate in these cycles. We none of us get to stick around here forever, and when we go, we don’t come back in that same way ever again. What is left behind, be it memory or relic, is important, not just to us but to the memory of us that it will carry into the future. The old plate speaks for us when we cannot speak for ourselves. That’s why we don’t get rid of them. That’s why we try to hold on.

Eventually the memories will change. My children have dim memories of my grandmothers, not nearly so vivid as the one’s I have of my Granny. And my children will probably not have children of their own, and that is okay too. That means that someday, someone may find a box of old plates at an estate sale, and take them to some new life.

Even if, in the end, they become nameless broken sherds in a trash dump, some future archaeologist may haul them into a museum and say, “look, this is what people in the middle 20th century used to eat on”, and there will still be some memory that we were here at all.

We all of us live in a big house on a little rock in space, and that house is our museum. It is our collective memory and the repository of the remains of every one of us that has ever lived. Time rolls out into the past in an unfathomably long scroll, predating our history, our pre-history, and even our being. It encompasses so many cycles of beings that we only comprehend the briefest bits, the tiny parts that through quirks of nature, have survived as reminders of other orders of beings that have lived before us. The time of the dinosaurs is so long ago, that it is conceivable at least one sentient advanced civilization might have arisen, flourished, and disappeared into dust, without leaving any tangible sign of their existence. It is entirely possible that in that vast ocean of years, a civilization could have arisen to leave the earth, and travel out into the stars, by some method we would not even now be able to understand. It is equally possible that such a race survived on a distant world and that because the time between us and them is so vast, they have evolved beyond anything that they or we would imagine came from this lonely little pebble.

The cycles keep turning. We are not the first to imagine and fear that “the end of time is nigh”. We can look into the recorded history and find this sentiment almost constantly plaguing the currently extant culture. It seems that our individual mortality predisposes us to think in terms of the mortality of culture, civilization, or way of life.

In truth, such things are very fragile. Lines shift on the map. The world I was born into is not the world we live in now, nor will the world I leave behind be the world as it is today. I am not always happy with this fact, but the awareness of it as an absolute is helpful in dealing with that discontentment.

All we may do is plant the seeds for tomorrow, and hope that they take some root. How they grow, and indeed, what they will grow into, is beyond our petty power to manage. If we live true to our natures, then perhaps our memories will be honored by those who come after us.

If not, at least the broken pieces may sit in a display case, and remind others how foolish and selfish we were way back when.

I am returning to my prop work now, and will be back in a week with perhaps lighter fare.


A bit of a housekeeping note. Owing to the changes made at the former Twitter, I have pulled the plug on the automatic update to that website. Since apparently my “interaction” doesn’t satisfy the New World Order’s standards for actually sharing my content, there is no point in continuing to post there. If you were someone who actually looked for the link on that platform, well, I invite you to visit my Instagram or the Facebook page for the reminder, or simply come by here Wednesday’s after 5PM US Central Time.

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The Long Road

Lion Pipe

…some of it’s magic, and some of it’s tragic, but I had a good life all the way

He Went To Paris – Jimmy Buffet

This was supposed to be a short article. It’s a short week in the US due to the Labor Day holiday, and that means cramming a lot more into less time. Also, I spent a good part of the last week driving (40 hours in the vehicle according to the travel clock) across the country, and that is more exhausting than it used to be.

I set out from South Texas to Middle Tennessee, and after a few days there on business, pressed north and east to my birthplace in the hills of Eastern Kentucky.

It’s been a little over a year since my father passed from cancer. I ended up going through his things with my mother and brother, as people do. This had not been my plan, but it’s a part of the rituals of life we all are connected together by.

I have said before that I am not close to my “blood” family, preferring the company of my chosen family instead. I don’t know that this is unusual, but society seems to make a bigger deal of it than is healthy. There is no great reason for this disconnect other than that we simply have very little in common, and that has been the case as long as I can remember.

I have always had a wandering spirit and inquisitive mind, and have never been satisfied to make small talk and keep up with what was happening with the neighbors. My youngest says that I am a changeling, which is as fair an explanation as any for my unusual outlook and vast difference of personality from my parents, sibling, and much of the rest of that community. I was born weird. I remain so. I am both contented with, and proud of, my weirdness.

Yet we ofttimes find ourselves attached in ways we were not aware of, or expecting. This was one of those times. Long trips can bring about a sense of melancholy. Hours spent watching the miles go by invites contemplation of the world passing outside the windows. Or at least it does for this wandering spirit and inquisitive mind. The trip from Texas to Kentucky was not a new one, though I have made it infrequently. But such journey’s stir memories. Most recently I had made this trip to see my father after his cancer diagnosis. Before that I had driven up to attend the funeral of my high school art teacher. Both trips had impacts. Both trips came up in my mind as I drew nearer to the mountains.

And the mountains themselves had an effect on me. I do miss them. I do not deny a deep connection to the rocks and the trees and the hills, even though the negative aspects of culture are still abhorrent to me. It is a constant source of conflict that I want the broader perspective of life near the big city, but long for the solitude and freedom of wandering in the woods. I have still not resolved that, and I don’t know that I will. But it was nice to feel the energy of that earth under my wheels. And it was nice to feel the energy of my current home and the familiar spirits around it as I returned.


bill-monroe
At the side of Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium, the original home of the Grand Ol’ Opry, are statues of some of the pioneers of country music. This one, with it’s own historical marker, represents Mr. Bill Monroe. Mr. Monroe was a native of Kentucky like me, and is remembered as the Father of Bluegrass, a musical style that merged the Celtic traditional reels and laments with Southern gospels and other influences. Bluegrass was undoubtedly the forerunner of country music, and country music was at least a god parent of rock and roll and all that came after it. It is right and fitting that Mr. Monroe is honored in this way, but I actually knew him as a human being. When I was younger, he and several other prominent “country legends” still played Saturday nights in small venues, school gyms, and country fairs. It is strange to encounter someone you knew while they lived as monument.

This unquiet nature within us is part of the human condition, I think. We are only able to realize our identity when confronted with otherness, and otherness always creates tension. Even among loved ones, and in families. We are all seeking to impose our identities on the world around us, and that perforce means coming up against the walls of other’s identities.

I spend a lot of time in my own head, obviously. I think that anyone who has the weird bent probably does. Being content to look upon things as being “just because” or even worse “God’s plan” is not within us. It leaves a bad taste in our mouths. I bristle at the scent of anything mildly dogmatic.

And on this journey, I was confronted so many times with such dogmatic thinking. People knew–knew without question– exactly how I should feel, and exactly why I felt that way, and expected quiescent cooperation in their version of my reality. This after several decades of my obvious and overt weirdness, and vocal proclamation that my viewpoint was not so, and would never be so, and that my viewpoint was not wrong, only different.

If anyone out there knows the frustration of someone trying to fix you, you have my sympathies. Remaining genteel and cordial in such situations is exhausting. I think this is much truer than that I put a lot of miles under me.

There certainly were positive aspects to the visit. I managed to see some people I had not seen in years, and enjoyed a brief time in their company where my longtime oddness was accepted unchallenged. And I spent much time in contemplation.

My father’s death did have an impact on me, even though we did not always get along. For my part I tried to make him understand that I was just never going to be who he thought I was, or should be, and I hope that was enough. I did not expect to cure a half-century of mixed emotions in a few hours, and I am not sure that “cure” is the right word. This constant idea that we need to “heal” ourselves seems a New Age dogma that I don’t want to participate in. I am the sum total of my experiences. I am the shards of memory that I have of those experiences, good and bad. And so is everyone else.

I do understand, from the many years I have read psychology and psychiatry texts, that some emotions and traumas can be debilitating. They can cause people to be “broken” and unable to live fulfilling lives.

I began this journey through psychology because of my father. It was his first major in college, and I was exposed to the books and materials at an early age. The same is true for the art that I have always pursued as my own refuge, and will hopefully make a full time career in coming years.

It took a year, and this journey, and going through the relics of his life, to make these things, and other positive memories, what come up more often when I think of him. This was not the first reaction that I had just after he passed. So perhaps there is some “healing” to that, but maybe not. In either case it is an organic thing that comes from time and experience and memory, and not a goal to be pursued by some externalized ritual.

At least not in my viewpoint, and your mileage may vary. I ran across a comment on social media a few weeks ago regarding the “ancestors”. It smelled of New Age pablum and a healthy dose of cultural appropriation, as do many such comments on social media in the esoteric topics.

I personally do not maintain an altar of the ancestors or perform rituals related to such belief. To me it feels like I am stealing from indigenous cultures to begin with, even though “we all have ancestors”. That is true, of course, but of the ancestors I know, there is always the layers of emotional baggage that comes from living life with them, and dealing with that otherness I described above. Good and bad, we’ve all got it. Some of it is worse than others, but our memories of these people color our thinking about them.

There’s a context that one cannot think of something without immediately bringing to mind it’s opposite. So for every pleasant and positive memory, there’s another less comforting one lurking out there. The trick, of course, is to reach the point where the better ones can outweigh the rest in the final analysis. And that’s a process that I don’t think comes from a ritualized veneration. Again, your mileage may vary.


brass rubbing
This brass rubbing is one of several in our collection, now grown by some we retrieved from storage in Kentucky. They had been in my wife’s grandmother’s house, and store since she passed away some years ago. They are important in some ways because the practice is now largely prohibited (in order to preserve the brasses) and because they were made by my wife and her mother and sisters in England. So there is both human history and personal history here. I hope that I have instilled in my children enough respect for the legacy of humanity that such things will have value to them when I am long gone from the world. But in the end, things only have the value we give them. These have no actual purpose.


The ancestors that I didn’t know, or knew only by abstraction, through the honeyed (or not) memories of others who did know them are not altogether real to me. I don’t feel connected, beyond the basic awareness that we share genetic material.

Yes I am, because they were.

But I honestly doubt that any of them thought of me with any kind of depth of perspective. They were simply too busy trying to survive in a hard scrabble world.

Don’t get me wrong. I respect the idea of the ancestors, and I am aware of some bits and pieces of the history that go around them (good and bad).

But our family line was far from landed gentry. There’s a general understanding that at least one branch were brought to the Colonies as indentured servants acquired from debtor’s prisons. They escaped the tobacco plantations of Virginia by crossing the Appalachians and settling on the frontier. There was some intermarriage with the native peoples, Cherokee, I’m told. But there’s precious little documentation to any of this, as it’s very long ago and, well, the names may have been changed to protect the guilty.

Certainly one can find our various family names in the northern parts of Wales even today. There’s a great likelihood that my people came from there, excepting the one’s who were already here. We have no great immigrant story of entering through Ellis Island or achieving wealth and fame from humble roots in the tenements of New York.

Many of the people who came west from Virginia and the Carolinas remained in the mountains, and their insular culture continues to the present day. Life was not easy. Living off the land was simply the nature of things, and continued well into the 20th century. We hunted and trapped and grew much of what we needed, and the grocery store was simply a subsidy to that old way of doing things. My parents were born into a world without electricity or running water or air conditioning or refrigeration. My children were born into the era of worldwide communication and instant internet presence.

I wonder what the ancestors would make of all that? I’m not sure they’d consider it progress.


mural plaque
My own monument in metal. Some 35 years ago I painted a wall in what was then the extension campus of Morehead State University. The building changed hands a couple of times, and I had assumed the work had been painted over or the wall removed during a remodel. Recently friends made me aware of it’s survival .

Last Friday I stopped by to try and get a decent photo without the glare on the plexiglass. I suppose there’s some irony in that attempts to protect it end up making it nigh impossible to experience without reflections from the long windows and overhead fluorescents. Such is the price of fame I suppose.

The receptionist at the medical clinic that now occupies the building was perplexed at my efforts to get a photo. She seemed even more incredulous to learn that I was the actual artist.

I have become to that community a name on a wall, without context save to the remaining locals who “knew me when I was alive.” Like Mr. Monroe and the man whose bones rest under that brass in England, I am a disconnected memory of someone you may have once heard about. There’s a certain peace in that, really.

Sitting with my old friend last Saturday night and covering all the many things that had passed in the great gap of time since we were last in the same room, I mentioned casually that I expected with modern medical advancements and trying to live healthier that I would make it into my 130s.

He responded that even at 130 it will be too short a life.

In the end we are the coalescence of some ineffable energy that struts our brief span, and then disburses. What remains of us in this world is the memory of us, in the minds of the others, who will pass on some smaller version of that memory to people as yet unborn, until the sparks get smaller and smaller.

I did say that such journey’s make us melancholy. But that should also remind us to live while we are living. With that thought I will thank you for enduring my ramblings and invite you to return next week when hopefully my perspectives will be less personal and more profound.

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